Summertime

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Double Digits

My firecracker of a daughter is now in double digits. I love her fiercely, and she surprises me regularly. She is unique, kind hearted, smart, beautiful, and one of a kind.

Wednesday, she hung out with her unofficial Big and had a blast!

Yesterday, we hung out at the beach 😊

Today we went to the trampoline park, and then to lunch at her favorite restaurant 😊

Tomorrow we are walking in a local LGBT Pride parade πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

Ex hasn’t called, texted, or acknowledged her birthday in any way. I didn’t expect him to do anything; he doesn’t pay child support or reimburse medical costs, he’s too busy playing the perfect husband and father to his third wife and their kid. Thankfully, she hasn’t mentioned him or seemed to care.

I can’t image walking away from my kids and not even wanting to see or talk to them. My kids are so amazing, and I’m so thankful that I’m their Momma.

Summer Plans

I function best when I’m busy, with just enough time to relax. As a teacher, I get summer break which is both a blessing and a curse. This summer my daughter is in day camp (which I’m 100% paying for, because heaven forbid ex help me pay for anything or pay child support) because she functions best with a routine and activities. Since there are no summer day camps for me, I have to do something else.

Rover has been picking up, so I should be able to buy new family room furniture (nothing crazy, just a sectional and ottoman), and save up for the month that I don’t get a paycheck. I’m also gong to train and volunteer with a local wildlife refuge, as well as a local pet rescue. Additionally, I’ll be doing yoga and walking my dogs daily, weather permitting.

For me, busyness=less anxiety & and depression. If I have days to sit and do nothing, then my brain spins and spins and doesn’t stop. And that doesn’t do anyone any good.

Hangout Festival

Live music is my my church. I can easily put myself into a trance like state while dancing to music that speaks to me. I spent 2.5 days at Hangout with my bonus daughter, C, and it was glorious. I returned home revitalized, calm, and happy.

Mother’s Day

This was my first Mother’s Day without my Momma. I miss her greatly. I dream about her often, and sometimes wake up thinking that she really is still alive. There are so many times that I think “oh, I should text Momma about that” and then it hits me again that she’s gone.

C and the girls left sunflowers for me at the front door while I was still sleeping. Sunflowers are my favorite, and they remind me of my Momma. When I was little, we planted them along a fence line; it was so amazing to watch them grow. I’m going to do the same thing with these sunflowers once they produce seeds. My Momma was so awesome at gardening & I remember many hours spent at the Southern Homes and Gardens misery, finding the perfect flowers for our yards. Sometimes I hated it, but looking back I am so glad for that one on one time with her.

Despite my grief, my Mother’s Day has been wonderful. My kiddos have been sweet, and my bonus kids have sent me sweet text messages. I’ve relaxed, napped, and enjoyed the day. My Daddy sent me the sweetest card, and some money so that I can pamper myself (massage school, here i come). I am so thankful for my life, my family,and all of my kiddos.